Saturday, June 24, 2006
Vegetating brain...
It's hard to find the will to actually do things and be active after something so completely un-understanbable happens. Death is so final that after that, all the rest seems inconsequential and all substances become shadows... Even my own brain has stopped to function properly and feels like it's only a reflection of itself: I can sit in a library for an afternoon well enough but it doesn't mean I'll get any work done. I'm trying though, forcing myself to go to the library and wake up in the morning and all (exams approaching...) but my brain just wanders off. In any direction. It just catches a thought and goes "yippeeee let's follow it through and escape!!" Which means that the easiest to do at the moment is read fantasy and watch bollywoods. Both really distant from my day to day reality. Studying and re-reading all I've already done this year to make it fresher for my ever forgetful brain is just not appealing at best, and very easily gets boring. I guess that's part of the reason I can't stay focused on it, but it just is what I'm supposed to be doing now.
How do you get interested in something you've already gone through? It's like re-heating the same tea over and over again... yarg, terrible thought innit? I'm sorry, I just don't want to drink it anymore!! Oh yeah, and because of this diet I'm on, I drink a lot (of water) and you can't really focus very well when you need to get up and go to the bathroom every 20 minutes...
So here I am, sitting in the library and posting. So that's going to help my studying biiiig time!
Atcually I think it'll have one use: writing on my blog kind of helps and I've felt blocked recently cause I just couldn't make anything follow the previous post. Well, and I had no will to make me do it I guess. But if I do post this, then I can add more after and they won't follow up Nadj's one directly. So I guess that helps.
So hopefully next time you'll log in, things will have taken a less gloomy turn and I'll have made an attempt at being cheerful again.
# posted by V @ 4:38 PM 
Comments:
<< Home
Maybe, one day, even in the near future, you will be in the mood to write something like : death is so final that after that, any sign of live - even a silent breathe, the song of a far bird, a moving cloud...- seems bright and essential, and become light and extraordinary real.
But I am not sure it will happen when you are sitting in the library and re-revise bits and pieces of linguistics.
Don't worry, it will not last long now, and if it is useless to get in, why don't you stay out ?
Kisses, a lot.
Post a Comment
But I am not sure it will happen when you are sitting in the library and re-revise bits and pieces of linguistics.
Don't worry, it will not last long now, and if it is useless to get in, why don't you stay out ?
Kisses, a lot.
# posted by 
: 4:38 PM
: 4:38 PM 
<< Home
