Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Getting Started
I have now changed rooms. I think this is where I'll be for the rest of the year and it makes a tremendous difference. For one thing, it's a single so it's really my space and I can make it mine, fully. For another, I'm not living in a suspended state of "I know I'll soon move" so I can bring all my focus to settling in and making this a home. In a way it feels like I've travelled really far again, as though there were a bigger distance between me and Europe than there was up to yesterday.
The result is I can't sleep... Because there are all these things that are running in my head that I know I need to get done tomorrow, the first day of a new era. I suddenly feel as though I'd been invested with a new life.
But this isn't only due to the room, it's also because I'm starting my third week here, which means the weekly pattern I'll be following is becoming apparent and I know more about the shape that my life is going to have. And the other factor is that I've started meeting people whom I really get along with well, I'm actually developing relationships. There was Anthony already, but I'd sort of cheated on that one because he lived in my flat - just as James is a big cheat cause we shared a room. However, I'm now communicating more and more with David, the Aikido Sensei, and I've started hanging out with Kristen, whom I met on a theatre trip. I really enjoy spending time with them and I know, even though I’ve just met them, that these are budding links that really have the potential to evolve into friendships. Today I was really lucky because I saw all of them, James, Anthony, David, Kristen… so it felt like a really full day. Well that and moving and attending this new class I'll be auditing and booking my ticket to Argentina... quite enough for one sane person really.
Another reason I can’t sleep probably is that it had to be a very awake day, with all this emotional investment into making a room for myself and beginning relationships and attending this new class, I guess I can’t quite reduce the level of heightened awareness or focus that I had to have. Btw, the new class is “Individuality Reconsidered” and it has made me much more self-aware than I’ve been in ages. It felt like a group psychoanalysis of some sort, I’m very curious to see which direction it’s going to take…
All this is really for the best: I’ve finally landed. The plane just seems to have been three weeks late :p
The result is I can't sleep... Because there are all these things that are running in my head that I know I need to get done tomorrow, the first day of a new era. I suddenly feel as though I'd been invested with a new life.
But this isn't only due to the room, it's also because I'm starting my third week here, which means the weekly pattern I'll be following is becoming apparent and I know more about the shape that my life is going to have. And the other factor is that I've started meeting people whom I really get along with well, I'm actually developing relationships. There was Anthony already, but I'd sort of cheated on that one because he lived in my flat - just as James is a big cheat cause we shared a room. However, I'm now communicating more and more with David, the Aikido Sensei, and I've started hanging out with Kristen, whom I met on a theatre trip. I really enjoy spending time with them and I know, even though I’ve just met them, that these are budding links that really have the potential to evolve into friendships. Today I was really lucky because I saw all of them, James, Anthony, David, Kristen… so it felt like a really full day. Well that and moving and attending this new class I'll be auditing and booking my ticket to Argentina... quite enough for one sane person really.
Another reason I can’t sleep probably is that it had to be a very awake day, with all this emotional investment into making a room for myself and beginning relationships and attending this new class, I guess I can’t quite reduce the level of heightened awareness or focus that I had to have. Btw, the new class is “Individuality Reconsidered” and it has made me much more self-aware than I’ve been in ages. It felt like a group psychoanalysis of some sort, I’m very curious to see which direction it’s going to take…
All this is really for the best: I’ve finally landed. The plane just seems to have been three weeks late :p
# posted by V @ 7:24 AM 
