Wednesday, September 06, 2006
On contacts
Home is where the heart is. That's what they say. In some respects it's true but in my case my heart is in too many places for me to have one only home. Maybe I have several hearts, who knows, that could be very interesting if I donate my body to science when I die, I could save five dying people with five hearts in one go - super sale, 5 fresh hearts to go!! hum I feel I'm wandering from the subject at hand...
The first few days in a new place, and even more so a new country, can make one feel a bit gloomy because you're alone in an alien place trying to figure things out... It wasn't the case when I went to Yale several ages ago because I was an International freshman who went to the orientation for International students and I met lots of people who shared the same worries and anguishes and made contacts very very soon. But now my "specialness", which I very proudly display, makes it so that I'm set apart from any other groups. Well me and Lélia, whom we shall from now on call James because s/he prefers it, do form a group and we most certainly have bonded, but that makes up a limited amount of contacts I dare say.
In the first few days, both James and I felt quite hyper after each interview with prospective teachers because we got to speak to interesting people who share the same interests and who are very open and friendly to students. Similarly, the day I chatted with a Senior who's lived both in Switzerland and Italy and effectively made my first friendly contact with a 'local', I really felt elated. What with these mini contacts and the connections set in my room, I started feeling better and more at home. This got me to think that home is where the contacts are... Which really means in my head that you can feel at home in a place if you have contacts and communicate with people on a regular basis, like here with James, or with Prema the head of International affairs, who's in charge of us French assistants.
The thing is I'm not even happy with this definition because the other thing that bothered me about being here was "what the hell am I doing here, why have I really come?" (And apparently feeling lost and useless is a common factor between people who've just had their agrégation like me...) But thanks to a few reminders and the beginning of my classes (I mean both the ones I'm taking and the one's I'm teaching) and of the GYM (tada), I've found anew the answers to that question. So I need to add that to feel at home, one needs to feel like one belongs. Not only through contacts but also through things to do that one feels like they are going to be useful for one's self-development. And if people don't know 'one', I'll introduce you to them, they're a really cool person :)
Buut I'm rambling, I announced this was about contacts and here I am talking about 'home'.
As yet I haven't made that many contacts and this is mainly due to what seem to be a cultural difference. Something that the Americans do very differently from other peoples I've encountered... I went to this "field trip" on Sunday in NY organised by one of the Student-run organisations and got to chat with quite a few people. Some of whom became pretty friendly with me. Contacts you would say? Nooooo, they now ignore me totally when they see me on campus... And it's not just me, they do the same with James; well to be fair, apart from one really nice guy who's the same now as he was on Sunday. It could seem like that group was especially hypocritical but the phenomenon is way wider-spread than that, and it only concerns the American students, the International ones don't do that. If you have a class with someone or chat with them in one sort of circumstance and you then meet them in another set of circumstances, they'll pretend they've never met you. I was quite taken aback at first but now I'm starting to get used to it. I don't know if it's because Sarah Lawrence is really small and it's a kind of a self-preservation instinct or what but it is highly unpleasant at first.
My first trip to the US had taught me that Americans say "HIIIIIII how ARE youuuuuu?" with an impulsive hug even if it's only the second time they've met you, and now my second trip is teaching me that they ignore you even if you've spent an afternoon touring New York with them... hu inconsistency?
Definitely, establishing real contacts in this country seem to be quite a feat!!
# posted by V @ 9:57 PM 
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aaaaarg I've been desperately trying to upload pictures for my past two posts but something is rotten in the realm of blogger so it's failed... booey. No pics...
Would you be able to spend your entire life in just one place? one city, or one country?
# posted by 
: 3:33 PM
: 3:33 PM
I would much prefer the song thing back in the 80's - "where I leave my hat is my home" That way you can have loads of places you can call home by just buying more hats!!!
Yeah, I find that loads of Americans are very friendly very quickly when you first meet, always leaves me with the feeling whether they are sincere or just trying to overcome their uncertainty of meeting new poeple by being overly extravert in their initial behaviour.
Yeah, I find that loads of Americans are very friendly very quickly when you first meet, always leaves me with the feeling whether they are sincere or just trying to overcome their uncertainty of meeting new poeple by being overly extravert in their initial behaviour.
# posted by : 6:23 PM
: 6:23 PM
I vote for "just trying to overcome their uncertainty of meeting new poeple by being overly extravert in their initial behaviour"!!
I like the hat idea, I may start getting some :p
I like the hat idea, I may start getting some :p
You have to break America down into sections. New Yorkers are more likely to ignore you, I think. People from Hawaii are really friendly, very laid back. In Washington, DC, there's a lot of self-importance about being at the center of the political scene. Etc. "HIIIII how ARE you?" sounds very southern, but who knows?
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# posted by : 1:32 PM
: 1:32 PM << Home
