Saturday, February 17, 2007
Live in the Present
One day on the mat - aikido of course - my Sensei told us to form a circle and then asked each of us in turn where we were. Some said "at the gym", some "in the dojo", some "in Reading" and I think one person said "here, Sensei". I don't remember what I said. After that he asked to re-live all the circumstances that had brought us to get there, so I made my mental journey - not necessarily an easy one at that point, and then he told us not to bring it on the mat, because that was before and not now, similarly we were here, on the mat, to train, and not in a place defined by outside rules or geography.My dad often tells me that the past doesn't exist since it's gone, and that the future is not there yet so that there's only a now - if even that: the now changes all the time. But I think I'd never really understood what that meant until that day when I was told to be here and now, to really do what I'd come there to do - train - and not bring my outside worries on the mat.
The thing is we hardly ever do that. Most of us live in our past experiences, continuously remembering them, or in our future, planning ahead. But we can't know what's going to happen. Anything might pop up. Andrew never says he'll do something for sure or will be somewhere for sure, even if he's intending to do it because well, really, how can he tell? Anything could happen and stop us from doing what we'd planned. All this worrying about what is to come is mostly futile.
The place I see it most in is relationships. I have a very bad habit: as soon as I start dating a guy I try and project myself in the future, with him, and I wonder how things would be like if we stayed together, got married, got kids etc. It's sort of a way of checking that he's a good person for me. But that's silly, for several reasons. 1 it puts pressure on the relationship and makes it more serious in my mind than what it really is, 2 if it ends, it really hurts because my whole picture of how things could have been that I'd started planning on is erased, and especially 3 I can't know who I'll be later and how I - or he - will evolve so it's pointless. I've gotten better at that now btw, I project myself much less and I haven't planned on children's names and stuff yet in my current relationship but I still tend to think of the future way more than I should do.
Let me use this quote I'm borrowing from an article a friend forwarded to me:
"You're not going to be the person you thought you were, but here's who you are going to be instead—and that turns out to be a pretty great life."
So chill out, think of now, and stop planning ahead like a mad person!!
# posted by V @ 2:09 AM 
Comments:
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Ben detto figlia mia. Non trascurare che proprio nel qui e ora c'é tutto il passato e tutto il futuro!
Quindi nel qui e ora si può modificare il passato e costruire il futuro.
Un abbraccio forte
In cammino
Papà
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Quindi nel qui e ora si può modificare il passato e costruire il futuro.
Un abbraccio forte
In cammino
Papà
# posted by 
: 6:43 PM
: 6:43 PM << Home
